Now Ben...
It has come to my great surprise THAT YOU AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN ON A DATE!!!!
I've penciled ya in for next month...(sorry..booked solid till then...)
I have only one request...
Could you please leave all of KHYRA'S FUR at home? For some reason, that girl makes me nervous...and when I'm nervous I tend to YAP and SHRIEK....
Loved that book on bloggin' for dummies!! Very creative, Ben!!
Love and soon to be dated kissies...
Laciegirl
say what!??
Now.. I'm not saying I'm adverse to dates (what hot blooded hound is?) but
Dear doG I'm quaking in my BOOTS! Can you see the TERROR in my face??
Ive been around for 12 months now, I've read the reports on Lacie's "Dates", Ive seen the fear, the trauma, the permanent ear damage!
To ensure my sanity I have decided that Lacie was joking, she didn't pencil me in, there will be no date..BUT just in case I have taken a few precautions
First I called guy advertising on www.dodgypassportouttahere.com
after an agreed exchange
he handed me these
So thats the new identity sorted should I need it!
Then I decided to look for place to hide (just in case I can't get to the airport fast enough)
I thought this would be a good place
but it already had a resident, who was a bit miffed (to put it mildly) at the intrusion
but then I realised that I have something right here that should work like garlic to a vampire, like a silver bullet to a werewolf, you know what it is don't you? Worth more on the black market than all the debts of the planet combined... and all MINE - The ULTIMATE canine protection aid (Well protection from Lacie anyway)
My Bag of Khyra Floof
so now I am exhausted from all the over-thinking.. time for a nap I think!
57 comments:
Woo know I've got your handsome bakhk!
Maybe what I khan do is meet The Beast at Starbarks fur that khoffee she keeps wanting to have.
Whilst she's not looking bekhause her yapper is shrieking and skhreaming, I'll slip something into her beverage!
THEN, I'll bring her to Khyra's Khorner and get her to - ummmm - I'll tell WOO later!
Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
Ben, my boy, let me tell you a thing or two about terrorists, errr, terriers. You never run into a hole to get away from them because they're bred to GO INTO HOLES! And did you read Lacie's recent post all about Lakeland terriers??? While me and my fellow civilized terriers merely point out where the vermin rascal is hiding, Lakelands KILL'EM. In cold blood!
Perhaps you better just pony up and go on the date with her -- I took her on a roller coaster just to keep her a bit dizzy -- someplace open with crowds around. Or go dog-sledding...and just happen to run into Khyra!
Remember...you're a ROTTWEILER!
Your pal,
Petey
Ben
Get a grip!! Remember you are a rottweiler!!! (must check spelling!)
Of course we would be lying if we hadn't noticed ourselves what a very handsome dog you are.
Both Bailey and myself are very keen on a dark, handsome dog with smouldering eyes.
It seems clear to us that you need a confidence boost and if indeed you have never had a date then this should be rectified.
Are you allowed out on your own?
Unfortunately we're not but my sister and I would be willing to go out on a double date if you could bring a good looking friend.
We would only be dating you to boost your confidence as this appears to us to be amajor over-reaction! If we could think of the canine equivalent of "are you a man or a mouse?" we would use it!
Be brave dear boy and let us know if you are interested in our suggestion.
love
Martha xx
I know what you can do,and you will not have to worry again. Just tell her you have a furbody all ready. You may break her heart but she sounds like she will soon get over you.
Ben and Khyra,
I could take care of that little issue for you?
Smilin' Brice
Ben it couldn't be that bad...........could it?
Molly and Taffy
Ben
Nonsense
You have to go out wif Lacie..why I have been on many a twip wif hew, shopping and dancing etc..and always had a delightful time..those wussy doggies awe exxagewating ..she is twuly FU..don't miss the oppowtoonity of a lifetime..
(and ummm, Petey is wight about holes and tewwiews)
smoochie kisses
ASTA (Lacie's BFF)
Oh, Ben, you are in so much trouble when Lacie hears about this. I can't even bear to look...
- Charlie
You do Gizmo proud, my friend. He would have said the same thing....mum is going to get a real pretty fence, one I can look threw. Cool Uh....
I have heard Lacie has been around the block more then twice...I would be careful, bring a stuffie with ya
Deetzy
Oh, Ben. What an exhausting post. But you are certainly overprepared.
Oh dear Ben, we hope the bag of Khyra fluff works. hehe
Good luck! :-)
Holly & Zac...XX
i've been thinking...I'm fairly small and that is a VERY large back of Khyra floof..so how about if your wrap that floof around me and i can chase Lacie away from you...if Khyra floof in a bag doesnt scare her, than Khyra floof chasing after her surley will! I too have heard many stories of the "Lacie Beast" as Mango Man calls her, and she sure is full of suprises!
Tail Wiggles & Puppy Kisses,
Coco - The Princess
Ben.You do look pretty terierfried, but that's nothing to what you will be after that date.Don't do it buddy. Plus you'll look soppy wearing a bracelet.
But why aren't you dating Khrya? I think she's sweet on you Ben sending you a lock of her furs....eh??? Looking after WOO. Offering to do WOOO knows what to Lacie for WOO???? See what i'm saying...
Wiry wags, Eric xxx
Oh boy.A+A here... be very very afraid......the hole tactic? forget it..WE ARE TERRIERS MAN WE LIVE TO GO INTO HOLES and what if you got stuck in there WITH HER????Oh boy we are going to have to think this one through..Archie said call him..he will fill you in...Love A+A
I am so tired of Lacey stealing all of the boys , and I still can't get a date because they are all gun-shy now, That I think I will bite her little head off if I see her. Or maybe I am too aggressive and that is what is scaring off all of the boys...-Kira The beaWootiful
OMDOG!!!! Ben, you are rotti!!! and you afraid OF A DATE with dear Lacie????
slurpy licks,
Twinkle
Dear Ben
Mwahhhahhahahahaha!
You are blushing aren't you? Come on! It's just a date! Lacie looks sweet! GO GO GO AND ENJOY!!!! :D
Cheers
Bee Bee
omdog, you better watch yourself. I don't think that any amount of Khyra floof is going to do you an ounce of good, but we can certainly hope!! Good luck my friend.
LOL! You sure can make me laugh, Ben! Is it really that bad with Lacie? I haven't been on a date before, but I'm guessing she's quite a nice girl :) Still,I cannot imagine you wearing that fake glasses and moustache getup though! LOL! Hope you have a great week!
Scottie
Oh Ben, you do look pretty nervous. I think you should be brave and go for it. Maybe you will not get bitten by your date.
Wow, I'm glad I'm just a young pup and don't have to worry about these lady problems yet!
Teddy
Hi, Ben!
Hmmmmm.... I smell danger!
Take care and good luck!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza
Ben!
Just one thing for me to say... Good Luck next month!
Sparky
Ben! You're a Rottweiller. If the terrier gets too yappy, all u got to do is SIT On her and you'd be FINE.
That's what Ol' Joe (our resident Rottie) used to do to the terrifying shrieky Shih Tzu who once terrorized us lot ...
Works wonders! I reckon you give it a go.
TUffy ;)
Gosh.. you really do look worried in the pic, Ben (ok who wouldn't?)..
If all else fails, I will send you a pair of earplugs to block off some of the yaps and shrieks. Alternatively you can use Khyra's fluff to stuff into your ears.. dual protection!!
Mummy say's she has had a few dates a bit like that in the past lol. You never know you might enjoy yourself.
Simba and Jazzi xx
BOL Looks like you are in trouble :)
Big licks to you
Suzuki
xxx
We think Lacie's bark is worse than her bite! We honestly think you're gonna have a great time, Ben! Honest! hehehe
Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch
Ben,
Sorry about your TV, but it is good to know we aren't the only ones with issues. Those Best Buy geeks weren't very helpful. I think we will need to buy a ciruit tester this weekend.
It seems like a Lacie Beast date has almost become a rite of passage for us studly DWB members. I survived mine... barely. Meeting in a public place doesn't help much but at least you can have witnesses.
Keep her away from blenders and hope for the best. Maybe you can have some hapless guy waiting in the wings for her to turn her stalking eyes upon after she is done with you.
Slobbers,
Mango
Oh Ben by you realy must go it couldbe kinda fun. Now dont be a wus and stand up and face t like the dog you look, not the one I know you are. lol.
But please go check me out.
http://zoolatry.blogspot.com/2009/03/friends-friday.html
I look super cool. I lokk great, I look fab, I look ok you get the message go now go look .
Hugs cus Ginger Jasper xx
Oh, Ben, we so hope woo don't have to endure the wrath of a woman scorned - maybe woo could use your charms to tame that wild female!!
Dad says he isn't too keen on salmon, mom is the one who likes it, but he says to go ahead and share the recipe - he will let Mom have them with her beloved hot cup of tea.
Woos, the OP Pack
Hi Ben
You could come hide at our house. Mom says it would be ok for you to jump on the furniture, not us. We also are really good at getting rid of badgers. Give us a call.
Love Ruby & Penny
This should be easy, Ben. When she rings the doorbell, just have someone else answer it and tell them you went on a date with the gorgeous Amber of the AO4 and that you won't be back for a long time!
Not so hard!
Kisses,
Stella
Dear Ben, Whew! We are mainly just glad you didn't have to wear those glasses and nose, it seems like that would have been the most terrifying of all. LoLLy's boyfriend is Kerbey from Wee Rescue but every time we get together there are distraxshons like food and humans. LuLu keeps promising to drive us to a movie but we can never find the car keys due to the fact that the Humans have hid them becuz of the incidint with the lamp post last time we borrowed them. Anyway Two Paws Up! for your outstanding cleverness. Love, your PaLs, LuLu and LoLLy! http://www.luluandlolly.com
Hee hee hee! I want to see you with those glasses on, Ben! :)
If you need any help hiding, I have a GREAT spot under the dining room table. No one can EVER find me under there, and I'm willing to share it with you if you need it.
Love,
Ammy
Hey Benster!
I had nooooooo idea you were such a hot commodity!! Totally makes sense though. I'm sure Lacie will be on her most bestest behavior with yooou and if she's not you can play some sneaky game and blindfold her with one of those NOWZAD bandanners and run awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Maybe?
I don't know. I've only been on good dates. Maybe my beau Chef will have some advices for ya?
xxxoo.
gucci.
A date, go on Ben, have fun while your young. Can not wait to hear how your meeting goes
Dude! Why are dates so scary?
Maybe she's not as bad as everyone says (Did I just say that?)
You may even have F U N !!!
PS: My mom is planning on getting ONE lonely stinkin Betta. I can't believe all this fuss is over one little ugly fish!
Ben, Ben, Ben...
Oh my...I read all of these comments and had no idea of my um shall we say reputation...tra la la la!!!
It's very helpful to know that Khyra wants to meet me for Khoffee and why...heh heh heh...by the amount of fur she sent ya, she's probably bald by now!
Now Ben...I am actually a very nice doggie and never use my TEETH unless it's warranted...(and with some of the BLOCKHEADS I've dated..well,never mind.) As for Mango...he shouldn't have insulted me...somethin' bout the size of my oh so small derriere...so I put him in my blender...it was an honor....besides it took me months to get his fur and the Mango suds outta there...yeesh...
Now you seem like a VERY NICE DOG...I don't think we'll have any issues...I would suggest you DON'T FOLLOW THAT TEE'S ADVICE AND SIT ON ME...trust me...that is NOT a good idea...
Perhaps we should meet just outside that very attractive hole you've displayed on ur bloggie and we can have a rousing game of "GO TO GROUND LACIE!!!"...
Let's see...maybe you and I should go to Germany...something womantic...how bout crazy King Ludwig's castle? Ya know the one in Bavaria that was the model for the one at Disney World?
Let me know if you have any other ideas...
Love and kissies...
Laciegirlie
Dood from what mom has read to me RUN RUN RUN!!!! Aaaaaaaaaiiiiiieeee
OHBOYOHBOYOHBOY!!
::springs in my feet::
::springs in my feet::
I is Jake!!
Ha! Good luck fending off the Beast's advances, we fear your bag of Khyra floof will be a futile weapon...i mean, it's a bag of floof! Khyra....where are you girlie?? Your squeeze needs help...oh wait, he's a Rottie...or is he a mouse?
Robbie Burns springs to mind:
Wee sleekit coorin timorous beastie
Oh what a panic's in thy breastie..
hahaha, slobbers xx
I hear ya, Ben.....I'm not into dating either. Not enough time for that!
Willow
Don't worry Benny with that Khyra fluff who would dare move in on you...
Hope you have a great weekend..
Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie
Ben, I am so relieved that Khyra can help you out on this one. Of course, I am a little jealous of Khyra, but I suppose if I can have Joey, you can have Khyra.
Beets & Rutabagas,
SB
Uh oh, Ben. You're in big doodoo now. It's tough being a hunky stud,eh? Tell me about it... why don't you just slip out of town quietly and meet me for some pool and a couple of Molsons and I'll walk you through this. It ain't lookin' good right now, my big friend.
xo
Chef
Do you have two girlfriends?? Khyra and Lacie now?
--JB
Hi Ben
Mum asked me to ask you to tell your Mum that it is ok to steal her birthday idea :)
Big licks to you
Suzuki
xxx
Ben,
For such a big dawg you sure are a chicken! You're afraid of a girl? I'm afraid of cats, but that's reasonable. If you want me to come on your date with you as your body guard let me know. I'd protect you. I even have a t-shirt that says PEDRO OFFERS YOU HIS PROTECTION.
Pedro
Wow Ben, you certainly have put a lot of effort into this plan. We just stopped by to see what was up and Oh My! to read the potential fear.... Just today a friend of my Dad's said "I don't need protection, I have a Rotti..." and indeed it is true. One Rotti is worth a dozen terriers and several Bipeds too. So good luck to you but I'm sure you'll do just fine! Stay well Ben, -Rocky and Mati
Ben: why you being a wuss!? who is this Lacie lady? I must go investigate.
luv ya
Lola Smiles
xox
Ben,
two females???? And I can't even get one. You're a lucky dog. Don't be scared.
Rambo the chi
We have not told you know who about the weekend do not want to get her hyper.
Hope everthing is still ok.
Have you seen who Bobby has with him.
Cara
oh I can see now why you are so worried dear Ben!
I am a kinda quiet guy in the dating stakes, I am more the "love em and leave 'em type".........I mean if a nifty rabbit strays across the horizon when I am doing some "wooing" or "flirting" I am afraid the game is up for any lady dog I may be idling with!
You look very handsome in those pictures I must say.
Best stick with Khyra methinks!
love and many licks, Marvin xxxx
Uh oh! Be careful Ben! I've read about some of her dates, too!
Good luck!!
Kaos
Ben - We've dug a big condo complex under our back porch. If you ever need a friendlier hole to hide in, you're welcome to stay a while.
BLU and Comet
Hi there, big boy! (My feeble attempt at flirting...I'm just not that into dating myself)
You are intelligent and, without the fake nose and glasses get-up, quite handsome.
Just thought you'd want another opinion.
Love and licki-poos...
Mary-Margaret
Post a Comment