Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Can you see my halo??

Hi everypup,

can you see my halo?? is the glare from it blinding you?

no?

well it should be, because according to Mum & Dad I am an ANGEL.. a perfectly behaved ANGEL!! (someone document that for future notation please!)

Why you ask?? well for one reason..

THE FUZZBRAT AKA STEALTH PUPPY

What has she done now?? I hear you cry! Well unfortunatley I don't have the time or bandwith to list every misdemeanour she is guilty of, but to give you a general idea I will list some of her more hilarious heinous crimes.

Firstly she has single handedly destroyed my entire toy collection! For 14 months I have been building up an awesome collection of balls, wubbas, kongs, tug ropes, stuffies, frisbees etc.. in all that time I have only ever destroyed my frisbees (and when I say destroyed I mean played with them and buried them until they were slightly bedraggled and dirty and therefore got replaced) In two weeks Millie has managed to rip/tear/marmalise/de-construct/murder/pulverise/shred/defile EVERY toy I own! Including my treasured HUGE Lobster and Crab that were last years Easter gifts, My purple Mr Monkey that was my homecoming gift and every single other toy I own! Mum did offer to replace them all for me.. but lets face it.. whats the point???

We all know about the shoe destruction.. well that hasn't eased up any, so every two legged in the house (including visitors) now has to de-shoe upon entering the house and lock their shoes in a cupboard - LITERALLY! As for slippers... well forget it.. she will try to eat them while they are wearing them (I kid you not) or destroy them the second they remove them from their feet.

So now we have two leggeds walking around the house bare footed (did I mention she tries to eat socks off their feet too??) Now bare footed two leggeds opens up a whole new world of entertainment for her.. the *lets place items that will be painful to stand on in their paths* kind of entertainment. So pine cones/sticks/rocks (to name but a few) are retrieved from her outdoor stash of torture equipment and strategically placed in just the right place, at just the right time to ensure at least one of the four 2 leggeds gets a painful surprise!

Now onto the counter surfing antics.. and again this is only the tip of the iceberg, (the actual full list of counter surfing incidents could run for several blog posts or more!!).
If Mum blinks (yes she is that fast) then Millie will have obtained something from the kitchen counters/dining table/any other surface in the house.. you name it she has stolen it, with the stealth of the invisible man and the speed of light!
Cookies/uncooked pizza/plastic bottles/kitchen utensils/sponges/rolls of foil etc etc .. if it is within her reach she will take it, if Mum is distracted for more than the blink of an eye then she will destroy it.

The Lilli Factor... poor Lilli seems to be bearing the brunt of the fuzzbrats mischief. Firstly the majority of footwear destroyed has been Lilli's. Today she pulled of the ultimate crime against her. Lilli came home from school clutching a little pot, hand decorated with wobbly eyes and a big smiley face and sprouting a wonderful head of Cress. Grown by her own fair hand at school. On arrival at home the pot was placed in (what so far has been) a fuzzbrat free zone. a place that even Mum has difficulty reaching! Within minutes the question was asked.. "where is my cress??" within a few seconds of the question being asked suspicious eyes were looking at the fuzzbrat. She lay (looking as innocent as a newborn) in the dining room with a "who me??" look on her face. For a second Mum questioned her sanity.. had she actually put it elsewhere, I mean the fuzzbrat looked so innocent.. no-one had seen her even move, there was no suspicious evidence to suggest mischief of any kind. Yup.. for a few blissful minutes Mum assumed that she was in fact losing her marbles.. that she has reached the age of forgetfullness and was full of hope that the lovingly reared pot of Cress was safe somewhere .. if only Mum could remember where that somewhere was! Her delusions were shattered a few minutes later when an empty mangled pot devoid of any contents was discovered in the garden. The Cress had indeed been subjected to the full Stealth Puppy Attack treatment.. how? when? these are questions that may never be answered. She hasn't even revealed how she manages to be so destructive so quickly and silently even to me!

Now onto the element of mystery destruction.

Mystery destruction is Mum finding strange unidentified remains of an unknown object (this also happens a lot) We have no idea what she has destroyed, where she got it, how she managed it in the three seconds we were not looking ... I think this mystery destruction is the one that drives Mum the most crazy.

If ever there was a walking advertisment for reasons NOT to get a puppy then Millie is the four legged version of it.

So.. is she going back.. has Mum finally got sick of the new grey hairs (the hairs she hasn't pulled out yet that is) ???


Nope!! because despite the absolute hair-tearing/sanity testing/frankly exhausting exploits we all LOVE HER!

She loves her cuddles and kisses (though she really needs to learn that leaping on Mum at 4.40 am and then sitting on her and licking her face isn't the greatest of ideas.. there are times to be loving and times to let the exhausted old dear sleep!!)
She has the most adorable face (which is fortunate because no-one can stay mad with her when she is bratish and lets face it thats 99% of the time)
She is gentle as a lamb (as long as you are a living creature.. any objects are just asking to be destroyed) and greets everyone like they are her best friend in the whole world.
She is comical and makes us all laugh


Mum says puppys are all about patience and training and that eventually Millie will learn doggy etiquette, but for now her puppyness should be embraced and considered as something we will all look back on and laugh about.. (yeah yeah Mum - I believe you but are you trying to convince me or yourself??)

I'm just wondering what colour rinse to buy Mum for her hair.. that grey really isn't a good look!

Tomorrow I will post some pics of destruction.. AND I will post pics of me opening TWO parcels that arrived for me this week! (Mum needs to get them all off the camera.. she forgot.. but I forgave her since she is a little traumatised today!)

and PeeeS.. I know it's April 1st but I promise you none of the above is an April Fools.. She really is that bratish!!

28 comments:

Asta said...

Ben
Hehehehhe
We wemembew those days. My Angel sissie Now used to eat thwough walls, hehehe.
whenevew anyone came to ouw house, we put theiw shoes, theiw puwses and anything else thy had on the piano. It was the only unweachable place in the house.
Mommi has been puttting colow on hew haiw fow ages, hehehe. hang in thewe. mommi still tweasoowes the holes in pillows Nowa made and the scaw of Chawly's toof on hew leg.
They have shawk teef, and awe howwible-adowable all at once.
smoochie kisses
ASTA

pet care tv said...

HAHAHA, sorry I don't mean to laugh, but that's a good story.
-MyPetCareTV

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I khan verify Ben's post!

He's shared all of that with me!

I keep reminding him it does drive up his stokhk INKHREDIBLY!

As that Bruce guy from New Jersey said
"Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny"

Maybe we need to rename her Rosalita!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo:Keep up the great work!

The OP Pack said...

Oh my dogness, the perils of puppyhood - just keep telling yourself, this too shall pass:) Good thing she is so cute!!!

Tail wags, the OP Pack

Princess Eva and Brice said...

Quick!! Get the pictures off the camera before she gets to that too!

Princess Eva

Lorenza said...

Hi, Ben!
It sounds like you all are having a very interesting time while Millie grows up!
Take care
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Joe Stains said...

ohmdog! You are living the nightmare that I endured when Tanner arrived, minus the counter surfing. That is why Tanner has a jail :) He has gotten better tho, but I can never have stuffy toys again.

Scottie the 'cutie' said...

That is a great story indeed! I can't help laughing at the 'Who Me?' innocent face line...*grins* Can't wait to see the photos!

Scottie

P/S: I've got something for you waiting at my blog...please come and check it out!

Aki and Poopie said...

Hey Ben!

are you sure Millie's papers read Rottie? we think she's an alien.. or a shredder/rottie cross.

just reading all of her mischief traumatized as already. but hey, look at the bright side, your hooman can start a indoor barefoot party! and Millie can easily help out making the confetti. BOL!

of course you LOVE her! that's what sisters are for btw! welcome to the world or Ruggedly Handsome Big Brothers!

drooly kisses,

Aki

Bobby said...

John found it hard to part with brother Evo, but now he is reminded of what Pip was like, and his being a tiny mouth in comparison. Pip is still into chewing but not as bad as he was.
Evo never destroyed any thing but he had Pip to play with, it was like his own little clock work toy. Ask your mam does she whant to borrow Pip he used to tire Evo out.

Bobby said...

Hi again forgot Pip could not coumter surf, he could hardle step surf, so that was good. He did eat walls though. That is to come aw well be happy. He!He

Martha Basset said...

Hi Ben
We did tell you this would make you look good!
OK so you have no toys but Martha doesnt play with hers so we can share some with you.
We would consider taking up Bobby's offer of sending Pip. He seems to be able to wear out the biggest dog.
Did you see his big match wrestle with Evo?
The trouble with pups is that despite their ability to chew up everyone of your prized possessions you cant help but love them!
Do you think that is why they are all programmed to look adorable?
We have never seen an ugly pup of any breed and we think it is so humans will fall in love and forgive them anything!
Hang on in there Ben, if you need us to set up a toy library or something let us know.
Basset Best Wishes
Martha & Bailey xx

Samantha ~ Holly and Zac ~ said...

We shouldn't laugh Ben but MIllie sounds so much like Zac with the shoe/slipper and toy thing.

Poor Holly had so many favourite toys that have all been destroyed since we got Zac. She has new ones and he destroys them as well.

He pinches shoes and slippers still sometimes, especially slippers...they are never safe to leave around.

He is better than he was though so they do get better.

Fun times is puppyhood but it does go by very quickly.

Have fun! hehe

Holly & Zac...XX

Mack said...

Oh yeah! That is a rottie pup for you! It sounds like you got a very smart little girl on your hands!

Moco said...

Oh, puppyhood. It is a wonderful time if you can live through it.

Simba and Jazzi said...

Sounds like you have your paws full.

Simba and Jazzi xx

Molly and Taffy said...

Hi Ben

Life sounds very busy up north.

Have you tried a big boomer ball for Little Millie? It may take her days to destroy that.

Molly and Taffy

Tracey and Huffle said...

1. She is in training for HULA membership.

2. Get Cesar Millan over there now!

Huffle Mawson

Eric said...

I CAN see your halo Ben. And it looks as it has a bit of a raggedie edge and puppy slobbers on it....OMD!!!

Soooo. I'm sending Mom right over to read about Millie so she will think I'm an angel too compared too. You tried putting Millie in the Naughty Corner? No? She would destroy/steal/shred it eh? Ah but that sock trick is neat.I know that one. Still try it now and then. Catch'em out unawares.

BUT Millie does need to apologise to poor Lilli and Mr Cress Head. Make sure she does Ben. And keep your mince pies open cos once Milie gets over her puppy stage it'll be time for the teenage tantrums......

Worried wags, Eric xx

Jacks, Narra, Tuchuck, and Rousseau said...

Haha! Welcome to big brudder-hood, Ben! Guess you never thought it would take a little sista to get your halo glowing so bright! Then again, it takes a little sista to bring out that kind of patience in anyone! What are material possessions compared to sibling love anyway?! :)

JNTR

ps
And she's better than tv, eh? ;)

Huskee and Hershey said...

Hi Ben,
My mom says she feels your mom's pain. It wasn't too lomg ago when we had a crazed pup in our house (she is still here by the way and I won't mention her name in case she takes revenge on me). We got her 2 months after we moved into a newly renovated apartment and SHE destroyed the new parquet flooring in the main bedroom by scratching on it (now all the uncovered surface in the room is covered with scratches), SHE chewed on the corners of the walls, SHE chewed off a piece of decorative work that was imported all the way from Australia, SHE peed on the big bed countless times, SHE chewed on the legs of the new leather dining room chairs.. the list goes on. There was even a stage when mom wondered how she can ever 'love' her.

But at the end of the day, we have never thought of giving up on her. Now she and mom have really bonded and while she used to be a daddy's girl, she's now become mommy's girl (and I of course retain my alpha position as mommy's boy).

Tell your mom to grin and bear with it for it shall soon pass.. :)

happy said...

I can see your shining halo, Ben! Wow, sounds like Millie is going to keep you all very busy. Bet you can't wait for her to grow out of that ;-)

tnbullterrors said...

Wow! We have decided to make her an honorary Bull Terror! She sounds like a Bull Terror with her antics AND we just think that's cool. ;) DawgMom will send yer DawgMom a story that will make her feel better.

Feather, Darla & Pappy, the TN Bull Terrors

Comet and BLU said...

Our girl is laughing hysterically at that story. Interesting that she thinks it is funny when your little sis does it, but not so funny when one of us do things like that! We hope your mum finds a safe place for the camera, cuz we want to see pics of the destruction! :-)

LuLu and LoLLy! said...

Dear Ben, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Truly outstanding and this is very Two Paws Up! worthy. Love again, LuLu and LoLLy!

LuLu and LoLLy! said...

Dear Ben, oh also we wanted to say that LoLLy is a rescue and now she has love and so she is also from rescue to love like you! :) Love, your PaLs, LuLu and LoLLy! http://www.luluandlolly.com

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Patience Ben she is just a puppy. Mom is still working on that with the pest Callie..
Have a Happy Easter..

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Chef said...

Puppytime can be a total nightmare but don't worry - you'll all get through it. Millie sounds like quite a challenge! Thank goodness she's so cute! Hang in there.